Been There, Done That - By Carol Snow

Take a good look my pretties, because
this book's cover is about as good as it gets.

Fellow book lovers, how do you feel about the adage "don't judge a book by its cover"?  Obviously, when applied to people I try my best to follow this pearl of wisdom (ha), but I must say I often judge literal books by their literal covers.  Take Been There, Done That by Carol Snow for example.  My mom and I were shopping the Chapters at Grandview Corners (something we love to do.  Yesterday's trip totalled 8 new books, but we got 2 of them free! Check out the buy 3 get 1 free sale if you're needing to stock up on summer reads!) a couple weeks ago, and when I saw this book on one of their shelves, I thought "ooo how cute!", and I stand by my original impression. The cover is cute.  I mean look at it!  Skinny jeans and bedazzled pink ballet flats! Well done!

It seems I made a poor decision judging this book by its cover, however, since its "frontispiece" if you will (although I know thats not really the proper use of the term), was probably the best part of it.

I'd been describing this book to my friends as Never Been Kissed meets 13.  The former because the protagonist is a young looking 32 year old who goes undercover at a liberal arts college after being repeatedly mistaken for a freshman in her regular reporter life (perhaps I also picked this book for its mimesis factor????), and the latter because she was supposedly exposing a college run prostitution-ring.  

I'm going to suggest NOT reading this book, so reading my little summary shouldn't ruin it for you.  

But !!!!SPOILERS!!!! just in case.

Kathy, the 18 looking 32 year old journalist, spends 7 weeks as a fake college student.  During this time she joins an a cappella group she figures to be a whore-front but is actually a bunch of good christians, likely contributes to her roommate's attempt to kill herself, and sleeps with her 21 year old RA.  She also develops a bit of an alcohol problem, catches her two "hot guy" dorm mates in a gay relationship, and while she doesn't uncover any prostitution-ring, solves the mystery of a series of home break-ins, and busts a jock-type coke dealer.  Apparently Snow wanted to fit every single rez and college stereotype into her novel and didn't care how much it weakened her story.

Oh, and I forgot that Kathy is supposed to be co-writing this expose with her ex Tim who walked out on her a few years ago after their 9 year relationship.  He turns out to be a real jerk, and Kathy's yearning for and finally getting over him is probably the only thing Snow writes convincingly.  When the whorehouse thing doesn't work out, Kathy gets fired and Tim and Kathy's asshole boss write an article about the college's Dean sleeping around a bit (something Kathy mentioned off hand once), which leads to the Dean being mauled by one of his wife's dog.  What the CRAP!? Am I right? The dog mauling bit was so unnecessary.  

Turns out in the end that there WAS a prostitution ring.  Kathy has a "WHY DIDN'T I SEE IT BEFORE!?" moment, and her and a newly acquired gay man friend get a taped confession from one of the girls and get the pimp arrested without hurting any of the students' reputation.  Blah blah blah.

In the end, Kathy's scorned young lover moves nearby for a job (Oh, right: a job in radio advertising after deciding that, no Dad, he WASN'T going to be a doctor! Score one for the cliches) and forgives her for being a lying creeper cougar woman, and they end up together.  Ew.

As you can likely tell from my less than delicate review, this novel was a huge disappointment.  With the exception of my lady Picoult and her predictable tales, Snow's text was my first straying from my typical English Lit student type read, and I must say she's scared me back into the canon.  I'm supposed to be reading The Hunger Games next at the hearty recommendation of Jennifer Kelly, but I might have to see about slipping a little Mansfield Park in there first, just to renew my faith in the written word.  

On second thought, Jenn's already pretty angry with me for giving up on Gossip Girl- I'd better stick to the plan and read her faves.  Austen, you'll have to wait.